Last night, I was talking to my mom on the phone and told her about butch's ear problem. So my mother, who was an RN for 50 years (yeah, 50) tells me that there are two things that she can think of to do. She tells me, since I don't have a hot water bottle, to go get a towel and put it in the microwave and heat it up and have him lay his ear on it. I asked her several times if I needed to make it damp before I did this. No, no, just put it in the mic. I asked her if I could use one of the corn bags heated up. Nah, I wouldn't do that she says, just nuke a towel, that'll work best. Okay.......
The other thing to try was to blow cigarette smoke in his ear. um.........o...k..
She swore that her father had done this to her as a child when she had horrible earaches, and it worked. Okay, there is just no way in hell I'm going to do that or that he would even let me.
I tell butch to lay down on the couch with his bad ear down, that I was going to do what my mom said. Of course, if she told him to do it, he'd do it. So I go get a hand towel out and put it in the microwave for a minute. Just like Lyd said to do. I checked to see if it was warm at about 30 seconds, and it was a bit, but not much, so I left it in for the other 30 seconds.
At this point let me just say, in my defense, that I asked Lydia, not once but several times about wetting the towel.
When the last 30 seconds was up, I reached into the microwave and pulled it out. Let me just say that there was no smoke when I first opened the mic. BUT, when I pulled it out, it became a smoking ball of terry. The smoke just exploded through the house, and I was afraid that the smoke alarms were going to go off, so I ran to the french doors and started waving them open to try to draw some of the smoke out. Mostly, that just accomplished letting the 20 degree temperature in the house. Butch, who had his back facing out on the couch and can't see what is happening starts yelling what the hell is going on it's getting cold. Of course, never did I think to actually throw the smoking towel out the door. That would have just been way too easy. At this point, the towel has actually stopped smoking and was still a bit warm (imagine that) so I asked him if he still wanted it, he said-FINE, just fold it up and I'll use it. Well, okay. So he layed with his head on the burnt, but not still smoking ball of terry. I have no idea whether it actually helped or not as I was running through the house with the Febreez trying to get the fire smell out. It didn't work.
The towel....in the garbage, but not before I took this picture.
Butch....well, he came to bed last night and all I could smell was burnt marshmallows, which is how burnt towel made his hair smell.
Needless to say, Lydia heard about it. I thought we'd both pee our pants laughing, and I was at work with my head on the desk shaking I was laughing so hard.
A while later, I get an email from K3. As follows.........
Step one...... Remove towel from closet
Step two....... WET towel
Step three.... Microwave for 10 minutes
Step four....... Run for fire extinguisher - and I mean RUN
Step five........ Dial 911
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Cost of Doctor's visit for ear pain....... $20 copay
Cost of prescription for ear pain........ $10 copay
Cost of calling Mother for medical advise...... $.10 a minute
Cost of scrapping microwave from ceiling.... PRICELESS
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When she was telling me this.... first thing I said was - YOU DIDN'T tell her to wet it first!!! OMG... Welcome to my world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This immediately made me CACKLE out loud-loud. At work. OMG
I fell out in hysterics all over again.
After all this, butch looks at me and says "Well, you do get it honest"
What can I say?
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